Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture. You may not even realize anything is wrong until one moment, you’re blissfully unaware, and the next… everything has changed.
Time is an illusive thing. You can’t pause it. You can’t fast forward through the bad parts. And you most definitely can’t rewind and go back. There are no do-over’s in life. That is the cold hard truth. And that is where memories, when they go wrong, will try and break you. Tear you apart from the inside out.
Have you ever watched your parents home videos? I mean really looked at them? When you see your younger self run by, do you go back to that moment? Do you remember the smells? The people around? Can you hear the laughter when your dad tells that horribly embarrassing joke that just isn’t that funny? It might all come flooding back. And, like a memory, you’re able to watch it over and over again. Rewind to the beginning. Fast forward to your favorite moment when your brother gets pied in the face. You can travel anywhere you’d like on that 23 minute timeline. But you can’t change it. It’s written down. A hard copy that can’t be rewritten.
That is what a memory is. But with a memory, comes daydreams, and daydreams are the true killers. Memories can torture you, but dreams. They take that moment and replay it in a billion different ways. Show you what you should have done differently, said something, been somewhere else. But you can’t go back now. What’s done is done. You either accept it and move on, or you don’t. Those are the choices. The only choices. Get use to it.